There she was again, the same time as usual. As usual, she wore her long, black, flowing hair neatly behind her head – not exactly a ponytail, but whatever it’s called, she made it look outstanding. She’s beautiful. No doubt about it. The kind of beauty that would subtly resonate throughout the entire room without stirring the crowd. Her silent beauty gave her a mysterious flair. The kind of beauty that can make you think, “What’s with this girl? Why can’t I look away?” She thumbs through her hair as she looks around the place. As usual, her dark, soulful eyes almost made her seem helpless as she tries to find a place where she can settle. Like an innocent child looking for her mother. Beneath her eyes, streaks of black liner smeared almost to her cheek. She’s been crying – as usual. She’s been frequenting this place for a week now. Always the same time. Always with that sad look in her eyes. Always with tears. Always for the same reason.
Though the flashing lights are emitting a confusing blend of hues, I could see her pain. And though the speakers are pumping loud, ear-splitting music, I could hear her heart slowly breaking with every beat. For most people, this place is a haven. A place where you can go and have some fun, drink a couple of shots, dance the night away and maybe bring someone home just for the night. But what it actually is, is a cesspool of lonely souls drowning their misery in whatever indulgence there is available – alcohol to wash away their worries; music to drown out the thoughts in their minds; lights to distract them from their troubles; sex to feed their loneliness. I guess the flashing lights burned their eyes so bad that they’re too blind to see that when they wake up in the morning, all the problems they tried so hard to forget about are still there- multiplied exponentially by the things they did along the way, trying to forget their troubles in the first place. It’s insane. But I guess the suffering loneliness can cause is enough to drive anyone to insanity. This place then is just a big asylum with fancy lights and music and everyone here’s a nut job. Except her. She’s not like the rest. She’s beautiful. How can someone so beautiful be so mad?
I looked at her again. She saw me. She smiled a familiar smile as we locked on each other. In a place where the temperature is as cold as the heart of the people who are in it, her smile was a warm ray of sunshine. She drew her hood over her head as she walked towards me, hiding her beautiful face. I got jitters as she approached me. My insides were boiling as she drew closer and closer. My mind went blank. For a moment, I was caught between infinity and absolute nothingness. Thoughts kept rushing through my head like a torrent like water from a broken dam.” What is this feeling? Could this be what I think it is? Is this love? Whatever it is I know it would be unfulfilled, after all I’m just a” – but before I could finish, there she was, right in front of me. As always, she was breathtaking.
She sighed heavily, placed her elbow on the table and gently placed her delicate cheeks on her palm. She stared blankly into space for a moment. With tears running down her face, she once again told the story. I knew it all too well by now. Two weeks ago, she caught her boyfriend in bed with her sister. The night before, the three of them were here at the same place at this very table. She and her boyfriend were celebrating their third anniversary and her sister tagged along. She never thought things could go way out of hand later on. Who would? Her sister was only fifteen. Sweet and innocent. Who would have thought she was capable of something so dastardly? As the night went on, she got a call from her boss. Unfortunately, there was an emergency at work and she had to do some extra paper work to get things going at the office. The company would lose a substantial amount if it’s not done on time. She was up for a promotion and passing this up would also mean passing up the chances to someone else. Her boyfriend approved of her leaving early. She thought he was being sweet and understanding. She kissed him tenderly for being the best boyfriend in the whole damn world. She thought he really understood for letting her leave without a fuss. She was dead wrong.
Excited to go back, she finished her work as quickly as possible. She finished earlier than expected. She hurried to her boyfriend’s apartment, expecting welcoming arms to be spread for her on her arrival. What she got was a painful slap from reality. As she approached her boyfriend’s room, she could hear sounds; two people almost like howling in ecstasy. She knew very well what it meant, but she couldn’t believe it. How can she accept that the man she loved for three years would stab her in the back like this? Silently, she approached the room. The door was slightly open. She leaned closer and took a peak. She struggled not to fall apart with what she saw. Her boyfriend was in bed with another woman. But who? And did he at least have the decency to bring her sister home. Her mother would be furious if she found out she’s been out all night drinking. But as she looked on, the jagged teeth or reality began gnawing the back of her spine. It was her sister. Her boyfriend was having sex with her fifteen year old sister! In an almost frantic daze she dashed out of the building.
Her tears are streaming down her face now. All I could do is watch helplessly as she spaces out again, almost like in a trance. From this angle, she was astonishing, even as silent tears were flowing down her cheeks. “slut” she blurted out. Then, her fingers began fidgeting. Twitching. She moved her fingers across the table and over to the broad side of my body. The sensation was amazing. Her fingers were tender yet electrifying as she caressed every inch of my body. Her soft delicate hand frolicking in my body, playing their way up to my neck. Then, without hesitation, she grabbed me, pulled me in closer and gave me a passionate kiss. Her lips were soft and warm. Soft and delicate like a pillow. Her tongue was playful, tickling their way on the rim of my mouth and exploring their way in. It was exhilarating. She broke off, took a deep breath and smiled. Her sad, soulful eyes betray the grin that is now on her face. it pains me to see her like this. But I enjoyed every moment of that kiss. And without a word she grabbed me again by the neck. Pulled me in and kissed me again. It feels so good, it almost hurts. She’s sucking me dry. But it’s just too damn good.
Suddenly, her phone rang. It was her boyfriend, calling to say how sorry he is. He went about saying how stupid he’s been and how he and her sister were only drunk when that happened. Of course she didn’t believe it even for just a second. But I know she’ll give him another chance. That’s why she’s been here for the past week. To muster the courage to accept that what was done was done. She got up, wiped her tears and left the room. The taste of her strawberry lipstick lingered as I watch her leave. Goodbye my love.
The waiter then walked up to the table, grabbed me by the neck and put me on a tray. He carried me to the back room and put me in the case where the rest of the empty beer bottles are.
Ink for Liquor 